Everybody wants to be healed of sickness, and they pray to God for help! Yet, God does not seem to heal at all sometimes, or at least not the way we think he should! Christians, those of us who have decided to follow Jesus into his new Kingdom way of living, need to understand God’s perspective on healing for our own benefit, but more importantly so we can help others see God’s bigger picture on life.

Way back when I was in Seminary (48 years ago, yikes!) the President of the Seminary taught a class on healing. He taught us 5 miracles of God’s healing, and described them this way:

Most popular ways:

1) Jesus heals directly and supernaturally–the miracle of the supernatural touch.

2) Jesus heals through doctors and medicine–the miracle of modern medicine.

3) Jesus heals through the human body’s healing power–the miracle of nature.

Less popular ways:

4) Jesus heals through bestowing grace in suffering–the miracle of sufficient grace.

5) Jesus heals through victorious dying–the miracle of the victorious crossing.

Whether it’s physical healing of some sort, or even mental, emotional or “soul” healing, I’ve never known anyone who doesn’t prefer to start with the first 3 ways above! It doesn’t matter how “spiritual” you think you are, we ALL want God to intervene and heal completely.

Almost 5 years ago now when my first wife Claudia was diagnosed with stage 4, metastatic cervical cancer, we immediately recruited an army of “prayer warriors” to pray with us for God to heal her in any or all of the first 3 ways above. (And thank you all, you were an AMAZING army of prayer support)  We didn’t care how, we just pleaded “Please, Jesus, heal her”! And even though we didn’t notice any supernatural healing, we did see significant healing through medicine. The chemo reduced her tumors in half, and after a long surgery, she recovered with just one tiny spot of cancer left behind her liver that they couldn’t get to. Her body and spirit seemed to recover quickly, and the doctors were optimistic and said she may have 5- 10 years more! Claudia ate very healthy and did everything she could learn on the internet to keep her body strong and clean. But, after 3 months and wonderful rest and recuperation on a Florida island, we returned to find her evil cancer had returned spreading all over again.

While many might think God had failed to heal her, we were just forced to move into a deeper, more Biblical understanding of God’s healing plan for us all!  One of God’s names he gives us in the Old Testament is Jehovah-Rapha, “the God Who Heals”. The word “Rapha” means “to restore,” “to heal,” “to mend,” “to repair thoroughly,” and “make whole.” God sees us and the world we live in as totally broken because of sin, and he passionately hates that sin because it destroys our lives and prevents us from living the real, abundant life that he created us for.

Claudia and I and our family were forced to move into the 4^th & 5^th ways of God’s healing plan above, even though we resisted and prayed not to go there!

The 4^th & 5^th ways of healing listed above are intertwined, and you can’t really understand the 4^th way well until you first understand the 5^th way, which is the truth that God ultimately heals us through death itself, completely and forever! Healing in both the Old and New Testaments is always only a temporary thing, and it’s always pointing to a bigger, future plan of God to heal, restore, make whole, and repair thoroughly all of creation, including the natural world, animals, and us as humans.

Because sin has ruined us all as well as creation, Jesus came to overcome the power of sin on the cross and offer us salvation, power to change and overcome sin’s grip on us, and eventually join him as new creations in a new Kingdom to be fully implemented when he returns to fully redeem and restore his lost world on the earth. In Acts 3:19-21 we read,

¹⁹  Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, ²⁰  and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you–even Jesus. ²¹  He must remain in heaven until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets.

Having God’s perspective on healing, death, and our future makes all the difference in the world in how you see healing, your life now, and your promised future life in Jesus!

Perhaps the most amazing, encouraging, and hope-filled passage in the Bible that points us to a future Kingdom under Jesus’ rule is found in Revelation 21: 1-5:

¹  Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ²  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ⁵  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

I sometimes tell people when I think of this passage that “I’m not going to die. I’m going to live forever!” Some may think I’m crazy or that I’m naïve, but of course I realize that my body will certainly die, but my soul, my created being, will NOT die. And, in God’s coming new combined Heaven and Earth, we get new bodies that will last forever!  ALL of us will live forever, either with Jesus in his new Kingdom as we trust our lives and future to him, or separated forever from him in Hell if we choose not to trust and follow him and choose our own rebel existence instead.

If you know that the real “YOU”, your soul, will live forever in Jesus, and you will get an amazing new body in the future, you will have a more mature and peaceful view of healing, suffering, and how God uses even the hard times in life to draw us closer to him and make us stronger in character.

Which leads us back to healing path #4, where God usually takes us in the end…

– Jesus heals through bestowing grace in suffering–the miracle of sufficient grace.

The apostle Paul suffered illness, beatings to the point of being left for dead, numerous unfair imprisonments, ridicule and constant rejection, and times of suffering and discouragement that wore him down to total weakness. But Paul understood that God worked best in his weaknesses, not his personal accomplishments. He was able to say in II Corinthians 12:9-10:

⁹  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As we mature in faith, we realize that ALL of us will face suffering in many ways at various times: physical illness and eventual death, mental and spiritual strife, anxiety, and depression, and all kinds of experiences that just plain hurt us and we wish we could escape. Jesus went through every imaginable pain and suffering for us on the cross, so he knows exactly how you feel at your worst moments! God doesn’t promise to take us OUT of suffering and painful times, but he promises to BE WITH US AND WALK US THROUGH to the other side of healing and hope. God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. (For a great book to help in those hard times, I highly recommend “Walking with God through Pain and Suffering” by Timothy Keller.)

Not only does God use our suffering and hurt to make us stronger in character, but he uses it to help us be an encouragement to others who we see going through the same thing. God never wastes a hurt! If you have gone through cancer or some other terrible disease and survived, God can use you to empathize with and encourage someone else going through it now. You “know how it feels” and you have walked through it with God, so you are the perfect person to share that experience with others walking the same dark path at this moment. We all will go through brokenness and hurt in life, but we can actually find purpose and peace in knowing that God can use ANYTHING for his ultimate good, and can use it to draw others into his eternal Kingdom of restoration, wholeness and joy!

While Claudia was dying, she was able to share her faith and struggles and that brought great encouragement and hope to many. And in turn, it gave us a sense of purpose and peace in the midst of a really hard time. God walked with her through the valley of the shadow of death, and used her family and friends to “walk her home” to her new, permanent life with Jesus. 

It makes a tremendous difference in HOW we as Kingdom people walk through these hard journeys of brokenness. This past year, I’ve had 2 very dear men friends face terminal cancer. One has passed away, and the other is in the last stages. Both of them, and their wives, have been marvelous examples of living with deep faith and trust in God in the midst of the pain they are all going through. They have a deep sense of peace in knowing this is NOT the end, ultimately, but only a transition to a new world that will no longer be marred by sin, sickness, and death. One even said “I didn’t know Claudia, but I have a sense I will be able to recognize her. I will say hi to her for you!” Wow, that just encouraged my heart like he will never know, and it reaffirmed for me that God has given us a future hope that nothing here can take away or touch.

Paul reminds is in II Corinthians 1:3-7:

³  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷  And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Pray for healing for one another, especially for ways 1-3 listed above. I will always pray for healing for you as well. We ALL want to be strong and healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and God wants that for us more than we can imagine.

But even more than that, I pray you will all come to understand God’s deeper, better, and permanent plan for our ultimate healing and life together, forever, in His Kingdom. When we understand that perspective, God can walk us through all the hurt this broken world will throw at us, and He will walk hand and hand with us into a beautiful future that is beyond our imagination!

Let’s walk this journey with Jesus together…

And let’s walk hand in hand as brothers and sisters as we ultimately walk each other home to a new and beautiful place that our hearts long for!

¹⁴  After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. ¹⁵  “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” – Mark 1:14-15 (NIV)

 Do you know what the Kingdom of God is? And do you know what that implies for your now, and for eternity?

Most people, including many who claim to be Christians, think the Kingdom of God is just another name for Heaven. And while that is partially true, there is so much more to it than that! When John the Baptist prepared the people for Jesus’ new message and ministry, the first thing he also said was “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven has come near”.  (Matthew 3:2)

Why did both John and Jesus begin their world-changing messages with “repent” and “the Kingdom of God is near”? Because when God chose in his perfect timing to have Jesus come to earth as a fully God-human being, it set into action God’s ultimate plan to offer us forgiveness, redemption, and power to live as brand new creations and to live forever in a new world called the Kingdom of God!

In a wonderful book entitled “God Has A Name” by John Mark Comer (highly recommend), he says

“Jesus’ central, overarching message was that what he called the kingdom of God—the long-awaited age of peace and justice and healing for humanity and for the cosmos itself— was finally breaking in through his life. That Yahweh was about to become king over the world and lead humanity into a glorious new stage of development. So we need to repent, to come over to his side, so that we can enter and enjoy his new reality”.

  What Comer is saying here is that God’s Kingdom is much more than a self-improvement technique, or following the rules in the Bible and treating others like we want to be treated, or even letting God forgive our sins so we know we’re “safe” now and have a guaranteed ticket to Heaven when the old ticker stops working! NO, the Kingdom of God is the Good News (the Gospel) that God has stepped personally into human history as a God-man to change course of our world forever! And you and I and everyone are invited to join this new amazing realty called the Kingdom!

So, how do we join this Kingdom? Is there a sign-up sheet or an app? Can we go online to jointhekingdom.com?  No, of course not!

To borrow on John Mark Comer’s last sentence above, we need to

Repent….

Come over to his (Jesus’) side…

Enter in and enjoy this new reality!

First, repent….

Repent means to “change your mind” and also involves the desire to let go of all the sin in your life and “turn around” 180 degrees and go in an entirely new direction, led by God! For more description and understanding of repentance, go to my last blog on my blogsite at www.boomers4jesus.org  .

Second, come over to his (Jesus’) side…

Wait a minute. You mean Jesus is taking sides?

Yes, but not the “sides” we argue and debate ad nauseam in our culture (Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal-progressive, etc.)

No, Jesus is talking about spiritual sides of a spiritual battle for our souls, and or destinies, taking place in a spiritual realm we can’t see, but which is very real! It is the battle between God and Satan and his demons (all rebellious fallen angels) and other rebellious spiritual forces in what’s called the “heavenly realms”.

What most people don’t realize that unless you repent and ask Jesus to bring you unto his side (his team), you are automatically on Satan’s team because we are separated from God because of our sinful natures! Yes, I know that will shock many of you, but we are NOT all born as “children of God”! We were all made in God’s image, but sin has tarnished us all and separated us from getting close to God. The ONLY way back and only way to become a child of God is through what Jesus came to do for you on the cross. John says in John 1:11-13:

¹¹  He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²  Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³  children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. – John 1:11-13 (NIV)

So, to make it simple….

Receive God’s free gift of forgiveness and new life through Jesus’ death and resurrection for you.Believe that Jesus is who he said he was, fully God and fully man, who came to love you, redeem you, and save you from the power of sin you can’t overcome on your own.

Take your place as a brand new son or daughter of God, now a new member in this amazing, unfolding venture called the Kingdom of God!

Third, enter and enjoy His new reality!

Once we join his team and trust our lives and future to Jesus, he will give us his Holy Spirit to live within us, empower us to overcome sinful thoughts and actions, and live a new, Spirit-led life as Kingdom people!

From the moment you join the Kingdom, your life and character will slowly become more like Jesus!

That doesn’t mean life will necessarily become easier; we’re still in that “spiritual battle”, and once you join God’s team, Satan is all the more diligent to distract, discourage, and prevent you from living the life and plan God has for you.

BUT, once we enter into this new, Spirit-led Kingdom life, you will begin to see everything from God’s perspective, and that will radically change the way you view all of life and your relationships with others!

EVERYTHING will look and feel different over time…

Your relationship with your parents, kids, spouses, close friends, and even those you dislike (maybe politicians?), will look different and you will see them from God’s eyes.

Your view of life, death, illness, and success and possessions will change, and you will find more peace about the tensions in your life.

God willing, I plan to do more blogs and short-clips on what the Bible teaches this new life in the Kingdom looks like and how God enables us to enjoy life now and an amazing future together, forever!

But for now, in our fallen world, will have an unshakable hope in the promise that Jesus will soon return, wipe away all evil from the world, and re-create a new world free from sin and restored to what God planned for us in the original Garden of Eden!

To close, I will share one more quote from John Mark Comer’s book:

“To scripture writers, hope is the absolute expectation of coming good based on the character of God. It’s bedrock trust that no matter how many wrong turns we make or setbacks we face, we can sleep soundly tonight because we know that one day Yahweh will eradicate evil forever. He will make the world into a garden city, a second Eden. He will bless “all peoples on earth” through his Son, Jesus. And it’s all because Yahweh is “abounding in love and faithfulness”.

Fellow Kingdom brothers and sisters, may God bless you each day with His sustaining peace, power, and joy so that might serve him and know the abundant love he has for you!

January is a time for New Year’s resolutions for most folks! And most resolutions are wonderful ideas!… we want to improve our health, our relationships, our attitudes, and generally live a more abundant, peaceful, and meaningful life in the new year!

The problem is, most of us don’t carry through on our resolution intentions for very long! A local gym in Fenton near us was remodeled in December and re-opened in January, and the parking lot has been pretty full every day since January 1^st! I can almost guarantee that in 3 months the lot will be only about half full. Why? Because most of us don’t have the will-power, endurance, and commitment to make life-altering decisions and actually live them out! We get  tired, we find our feelings of wanting to change dissipate, and we rationalize why it’s OK to fall back into our old ways! For most us, we have good intentions, but lousy results!

SO, HOW CAN WE CHANGE FOR THE BETTER IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE?

CAN GOD ACTUALLY HELP US TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER?

DID YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN, A FOLLOWER OF JESUS, THAT HE CAME TO GIVE YOU A BRAND NEW LIFE, A NEW LIFESTYLE THAT YOU WILL GROW INTO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

This will be a life-long, ongoing change process that can change your health, your attitude, your perspective, and enable you to live as a new creation under the power of God! Rather than self-improvement schemes and resolutions that don’t last, God wants to change you from the inside-out and give you an ever-increasing abundant, joyful, and purposeful life, now and into eternity!

When Jesus began his ministry, he said “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven has come near”. (Matthew 4:17)

Understanding this statement of Jesus is KEY to a new life and future! Let’s look at both aspects here: repentance, and what the Kingdom of Heaven is.

1) REPENT! CHANGE YOUR MIND!!

Most people think repent means to feel shameful about your thoughts and evil actions and then desire to stop doing them and “change your ways” and get your act together!

But the Greek word for repentance literally means to “change your mind”!

Jesus is saying that when we open ourselves up to allowing God to “change our mind” daily and consistently, we will begin to see ourselves, this world, and our place in it from his perspective.

It’s true that we are to repent from sin, but we need to understand that sin is every thought and action in our life that keeps us away from the ideal and perfect life that God planned for us when he created humanity! We weren’t created to live in this present sinful, evil existence with death, disease, war, and hatred! We were created to live with God, in his presence, and share an amazing, abundant life that will last forever. So repentance is not a negative thing; it is opening the door to God’s leading, healing, and restoration that our rebellion once blocked!

Back to our new year’s resolutions…

Any self-improvement plan, as good as it may be, is based on YOUR agenda for what’s best for you, and YOUR best idea of how to get there!

So, what’s the problem? The battle for change is won or lost in our MINDS! Renewal takes place in your thoughts and your attitudes—in other words, in your mind. You may FEEL tired or disgusted with many things about your life, but short-term actions alone won’t lead to lasting change. We tend to act because of specific feelings we may have, but if those feelings arise from negative or untrue thoughts, the actions we take will not lead to healthy, healing and purposeful lives in the long run! 

So, from God’s perspective, we all have 2 choices:

– Choice # 1: Plan your own life, do your own self-improvement schemes, educate yourself better, listen to the latest fads and lifestyle gurus, and “do the best you can with what you’ve got”.  Now it’s true that many people do this and do get better at life in some ways. But we need to understand that as long as we are in charge of our lives, “master of our own fate”, God will leave us alone and let us do our best, but will not help us in this endeavor! Jesus didn’t come to help us live a “little bit less sinful lifestyle”, he came to transform us into new creatures who will live with him in his new Kingdom forever! Jesus came to save us from the power and deadly effects of sin, not just help us do a little “lifestyle makeover” that makes our present sinful world seem a little more palatable.

-Choice #2: Believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that he came to save you from sin, and trust your life to him every day and in every way! This means stop trying to plan your own life, and ask God daily to work in every aspect of your life to become more like Jesus and be able to recognize him working in your life! Again, none of us do this perfectly all the time, but it is an ongoing process of allowing God’s Spirit to help you let go of your old life patterns and thoughts and slowly take on the new lifestyle that Jesus has for you!

Let’s look at some verse showing how God helps us change our mind and perspective!

²²  You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³  to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

²  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2 (NIV)

⁵  Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶  The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷  the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸  Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. ⁹  You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. – Romans 8:5-9 (NIV)

What these verses tell us is that when God’s Spirit lives in his believers, he empowers us to change our thoughts and attitudes and see God’s perspective and the ways he wants us to live! God’s thoughts are different than the fallen world’s ideas, and when we understand how to live by the direction of God’s Spirit, we think, feel, and act in harmony with what God wants for us and the world!

Now this is a life-long, ongoing process of change for us, but it begins when you trust your life to Jesus! The more you allow him to change your mind daily and empower you to live the new pattern of life he desire for you, the better your life will be. The beneficial spiritual, mental, and emotional results of this new life are called the “Fruit of the Spirit”, and are listed in Galatians 5:22-23:

²²  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

Who wouldn’t want their life to be full of these thoughts and character traits!

2) The Kingdom of Heaven is near!

When you trust Jesus, not only does he change you from the inside-out by daily renewing your mind and transforming your life, but you become part of a new race of his people who will dwell with him forever in his Kingdom!

This Kingdom is partial now as we live in this fallen world momentarily. But as God empowers us and transforms us through this life, we all become new creations of God and look forward to Jesus’ future reign as he returns to earth, destroys all evil, and sets up a new sinless Kingdom which will last forever! No matter what our circumstances in life may be, we have a sure and unbreakable hope in the future and come to realize we are new people, redeemed to bring glory to God!

⁹  But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
¹⁰  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. – 1 Peter 2:9-10 (NIV)

I will continue to blog throughout the year and explain what being a Kingdom man or woman involves and how God helps us put off the old life and take on his new life in the Spirit.

But I close with a question for each of you as you begin the new year:

How do you choose to improve and make your life better this year?

If you choose to stick with resolutions and self-help books and advice from lifestyle “experts”, I do hope your life gets a little better and you have a good year!

But, I challenge you to do think about something that is dramatically different than the world’s latest fads and improvement gimmicks, and decide to trust your life to Jesus and allow him to forgive you and transform you into a new creation!

What Jesus can offer you is so much better than the world offers you, and it is literally the difference between light and darkness!

I don’t just wish you the customary “Happy New Year!”

Rather, I wish you a year of rebirth, a year of trusting each day and thought to Jesus, and experiencing all that he has in store for you if you will only let him love you and lead you into becoming his new creation!

I leave you with a great prayer from Ephesians that captures the great hope we have in Jesus:

¹⁴  For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵  from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸  may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ²⁰  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ephesians 3:14-21 (NIV)

This Sunday, the 22^nd,  will mark 3 years to the day that my wife Claudia died from cervical cancer and went home to live, finally, pain free , healed for eternity, and joyous in the presence of Jesus. Then the next Saturday, the 28^th, I will marry my new beautiful fiancée Ellen Sellers! These past 3 years have been a journey I would not have chosen if it were up to me, but one that God has led me through and shown me his gentle hand as he has lead me from despair to new hope and joy for a future together with Ellen! The scripture I chose to help me get through Claudia’s cancer battle, and then face life alone, was Isaiah 41:10:

¹⁰  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I can honestly say that there have been moments of dismay and discouragement over these 3 years, but through it all God has strengthened me, upheld me at every turn, and healed the brokenness in my soul and given me new hope, purpose, and joy!

I would like to share briefly some of my thoughts over these years, and how my perspective has changed, and hopefully this may help some of you as you go through the joys and trials of life we all face.

The Comfort Zone

 If you had asked me 5 years ago how life was going, I would have said it was wonderful! Claudia and I were retired, had a wonderful family with 9 grandchildren, and we loved where we lived in Canadian Lakes and had many new, wonderful friends and support! We had several small groups of friends to “do life” together, I could golf all I wanted, and we had many opportunities to serve Jesus and just really enjoy life. We were living in what may be called a “comfort zone” and it was, well, comfortable! For those who knew Claudia, not only did she have a beautiful voice, but she was very outgoing and people just loved being around her! Since I’m a little introverted, I benefitted from Claudia’s friendships and enjoyed many new friends because I was her husband and was just “tagging along”.

We all love and desire to live in “comfort zones”, don’t we? … that place where we’re pretty healthy, life is good, our family is doing well, and life seems to have purpose, meaning, and joy! While they are nice to be in, comfort zones don’t last forever, and we need a reality check sometimes that this life on earth is difficult, flawed, and fallen from what God originally intended for us in the Garden of Eden! As Jesus was explaining to his disciples his own pending torture and death to save us from sin and the brokenness of this world, he reminded them in John 16:33:  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

A Time of Transitions…

Our “comfort zone” bubble was broken with one phone call from her doctor. After some tests for what they thought may be an ulcer, a nurse called us and told her “you’re full of tumors and we’re sending you to the cancer center in Grand Rapids”.  Claudia fell into my arms, sobbing, and saying “I’m going to die!” In our first meeting with the cancer specialists, she was told she had stage 4 cancer. Life changed quickly, dramatically, and got much darker and more fearful. Claudia was led to choose a verse from 2 Chronicles 20:15 to take her through her cancer battle: ¹⁵  He said:  This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Even though facing her “vast army” of tumors, this verse strengthened her and I saw God fight for her in many ways, even though the ultimate outcome was not what we prayed for.  God works in the times of transition and difficulty in ways he can never work through us when we’re in a comfort zone! I saw Claudia get spiritually and mentally stronger as she faced 3 chemo rounds, a grueling 7 ½ hour surgery, and then amaze the doctors as she quickly recovered and got stronger. The doctors gave us hope that she might be able to live 5-10 years, only to then see the cancer return quickly and that prognosis change to 6 months.

Some people might say that verse didn’t work, and God failed us by allowing Claudia to die. I can understand that thought, but they fail to see God’s perspective on life and what he ultimately desires for us. The question for Claudia and all of is not will we die, but when. A friend reminded me of a saying during this battle that “none of us are going to get out of here alive”. I certainly wish that Claudia would have been healed physically and that now she would be praising God in song and sharing that hope and encouragement with me and others! But as I reflect on that time with her, I now see God used her in a different way to profoundly affect others and give them hope. Claudia decided to share her cancer journey very publically on Facebook, giving updates and sharing her struggles as well as how God was giving her peace and strength through the fight. This encouraged me to write blogs about our experience, and God used all of this to encourage others going through cancer and other trials, and knowing that was very encouraging to us as well! A good friend told us “You taught us how to die”, and they will never know how much that meant to us! I truly admire how Claudia died with such faith and love for God and her family and friends, and I truly believe that was part of God’s purpose for her.

I am reminded of what Paul says in Romans 8:

¹⁸  I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. – Romans 8:18 (NIV)
²⁸  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 (NIV)
I am encouraged that all of Claudia’s sufferings can’t begin to compare to the joy and glory she experiences today! And as hard as it was to watch her die, I also believe that God used that for his larger good plan and purpose, and someday we will see that more clearly.

After Claudia died, a major life transition began for me in a new way!

Now I was “single” again, a state I had not found myself in for 43 years! Most men expect to die first and hope to escape dealing with this dilemma! While many folks are happy and fulfilled to remain single, I had such a wonderful experience sharing life with Claudia that I asked God to help me find another wonderful woman to share the rest of my life with! So, I began online dating, two words I never previously thought would cross my mind or lips! And, what an interesting and sometimes confusing experience it was! I know my stories of dating were of great interest and amusement to my golfing buddies in the summertime! I’m glad I could entertain you!

I found it daunting suddenly being single again, as I was so used to being part of a team of “Claudia and Tom”. Being just “Tom” again felt too much like being in high school or college again, and I felt very different around my married friends. Nothing was the same as it was before, not my friends, my house, or even my family in some ways. So, oddly enough, I actually learned to enjoy talking with other single women online! They shared the same fears and feelings that I had, and I learned a lot from them and a lot about myself!

In a nutshell, I talked with about a dozen women over about 2 years. I was particularly looking for women who had a strong Christian faith, and all of those I talked to were wonderful, faithful women. I found that at an older age it was much more complicated than it was when we were young and just starting out! We have our own homes, families, communities, financial interests, churches, hobbies, etc., and these are all significant things to work through! I actually “went out” a few times with about 5 women altogether, and Ellen and I met a year ago in September and have been growing in love together ever since!

Ellen and I have talked a lot about “transitions”! She has been single for longer than I have, so the idea of getting married is even more scary for her than me! And I am slowly saying goodbye to my life and friends in Canadian Lakes, as I plan to sell my home next year and move to the Fenton area, where she will sell her house also and then buy a new one together. Ellen’s family all live close, and she knows tons of people there and is very active in her church, a place I have also come to value and look forward to serving and growing together in faith there. Life is constantly changing for me now, but I also feel God is clearly “transitioning” me into a new and exciting life with Ellen, and I fully trust Him to do that and feel great peace about that!

Gratitude!

All of this experience, the good, bad, and painful, has only led me to feel more gratitude to God for strengthening me, helping me, and upholding me with his righteous right hand! In Philippians 4:4-9, Paul gives us an amazing formula for living life with God!…

⁴  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. ⁹  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

As I review my life, I am so grateful for what God has shown me and provided for me:

– 43 years shared with Claudia, that gave us 3 amazing sons, 3 daughters-in-law that fit each one perfectly, and 9 wonderful, rambunctious grandchildren

–  my sister and 2 brothers and extended family, and of course many, many wonderful friends over the years that have encouraged and challenged me to become who I am today, and were especially dear to us as we went through the cancer battle

– the joy that God has helped me see my life from his perspective and see a larger, eternal view of his Kingdom and may place in it

– and finally, and most exciting new aspect to my life, the privilege that God has led me to find Ellen and the exciting future that we will share together!  Ellen is a beautiful woman with a wonderful love for God and is also very outgoing and is loved by many friends because she truly has a heart for them! Ellen also has a wonderful family with 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, so we will have fun blending our families and getting to know them all better!

Ellen had a close friend share with her Isaiah 43:19, which reads

¹⁹  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

I think that’s a perfect verse for us to focus on as we begin our new life, and maybe for you too!

While comfort zones are nice, God is always desiring us to move forward and trust him for a future that only he knows for sure!

I pray that wherever you find yourself right now, whether it be a comfort zone or a transition area, that you will trust in God to strengthen you, help you, and uphold you with his powerful hand, for now and for eternity in his Kingdom!