When I refer to CJ’s “status”, most folks think of her physical status in relation to her cancer. To be honest, it is not good. She is getting weaker each week, and struggles with shortness of breath and water retention as symptoms of this cancer. Fortunately, the pain has been quite manageable and the medication is doing the trick in keeping the pain down. It’s also good that she is still fully alert and enjoys reading, watching TV, listening to praise music, doing her Bible studies, and is still active on social media with friends. Saturday all of our kids & grandkids came over for the day and that was wonderful to have all 17 of us together!

While we both continue to pray for God’s  physical healing and have no doubt he can do that, and we know many of you are praying that as well, it is becoming more likely that God is not going to do that. CJ’s body is dying, and we are certainly aware of God’s presence and leading as we go through this process. As humans there is no easy way to go through this process, and to put it in human (not spiritual) terms, dying sucks! We both grieve those things we will never do together any more, and CJ grieves especially not seeing our 9 grandkids grow up, get married, etc. As those of you who have gone through this experience of losing a spouse, child, parent, relative, or friend, you know life is never always fair and the way we think it should be! It is easy as we face the process of physical death to fall prey to fear, discouragement, and hopelessness, especially if you don’t believe there is life after death.

BUT FOR THE CHRISTIAN, WE CAN HAVE HOPE AND ASSURANCE THAT THE DEATH OF OUR BODIES IS NOT THE END, BUT RATHER A CONTINUAITON AND FULFILLMENT OF A WONDERFUL NEW LIFE FULLY LIVED IN GOD’S ETERNAL KINGDOM!

In God’s viewpoint, CJ’s status is not is not of one a dying person but that of a daughter of the King, who will live forever with God in his coming Kingdom of Heaven. Remember that when Jesus came his message was of the good news of a coming Kingdom, to begin in the lives and hearts of his followers which is the Church, but to be fulfilled in the future when he returns to earth and establishes his Kingdom forever! CJ is already a member of the Kingdom because of her faith in Jesus and what he did for us on the cross, NOT because she is a “good person”. (Now, before I get in trouble for that, realize that compared to most people, and to me, she is an exceedingly wonderful person! But the Bible makes it clear that NONE of us are “good enough” to get into the Kingdom on our own works or goodness, and that is why we must trust in Jesus alone):

¹⁶  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17 (ESV)

SO, KNOWING THAT ALL OF US ARE GOING TO DIE PHYSICALLY AT SOME POINT, WHAT IS THE  HOPE AND PROMISE THAT GOD HAS FOR US TO COUNTER OUR FEARS AND DISCOURAGEMENT?

1) Even though our bodies will die, WE will not!

In John 11:25, 26 it says
²⁵  Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, ²⁶ and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

Both Peter & Paul refer to our bodies as “tents” in the New Testament. I like this analogy, because tents (or today’s version as motor homes) are great places to spend a few nights, but they are not meant to be permanent dwellings. Paul explains in II Corinthians 5 that we will eventually get NEW bodies in the Kingdom, which will never die or get sick:

¹  For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ²  For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, ³  if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. ⁴  For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵  He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. – 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 (ESV)
Just a word of caution: while all of us will continue living after death, Jesus teaches that only those who put their trust in him and ask for forgiveness and trust their lives to his Lordship will enter his Kingdom. All others, who freely choose not to follow him, will be separated from God forever in what Jesus describes as Hell. So, please choose wisely! 

⁵  Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”
⁶  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.  – John 14:5-6 (ESV)

Although I hate what this cancer has done to my wife, and the pain and suffering she is going through, I find great comfort, peace, and hope in knowing that physical death will not be the end of her life at all! I believe with complete confidence, without a doubt, that this beautiful, kind, talented, amazing God-honoring  woman that I have shared life with for 43 years will at some point step out her body and walk into the arms of Jesus. Her life will be better and more amazing than we can imagine. And I’m sure that I will join her and many others in this amazing new life in God’s kingdom, a life that God meant us to have from the beginning of creation.

2) God can use the worst in life to bring us closer to him and offer us hope for a wonderful future of redemption and restoration of what was meant to be!

Consider some of these classic passages from Pauls’ writings in Romans 8:
¹⁸  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ²⁸  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ³¹  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³⁵  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This near 18-month journey of CJ’s cancer has been at times discouraging, fearful, and has brought us to question God’s plan and the depth of our own faith at times. But it has also brought many unexpected “God moments” where he has spoken to us and others through this trial.  In spite of questions, I believe we have each drawn closer to God and trust him now more fully than ever. In many ways it has also brought CJ and I closer, appreciating just how much God has blessed us in 43 years together! It has brought our family closer together, and enabled us to talk about more serious issues in life and express how much we appreciate each other, and how proud we are of our sons and daughters-in-law. CJ has had wonderful conversations with old friends on Facebook or in person that would not have happened otherwise.  And through the marvel of the internet we have had wonderful conversations with you folks on CJ’s Facebook update page and my blog page as well. Your thoughts and prayers for us have not only strengthened us, but they have a profound effect on others in our circle as well. God has used our faith journey to speak to and strengthen other as well. SO, as awful as this has been, he has used it to strengthen us, strengthen many of you, and hopefully convince most of us that as we trust in Jesus, we have a future forever with God that is better than we can imagine!

  3) God wants us to work together as brothers & sisters to “walk each other home”, along with Jesus, of course.

Recently we heard someone express the idea that we Christians are here to “walk each other home”.  I like that idea. We need each other to navigate through this sin-stained world and make it to our future destination with God in his Kingdom.  King David had a similar thought in Psalm 23, although he pointed out that God is our shepherd and will lead us on our journey home:

 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. ²  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. ³  He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. ⁴  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. ⁵  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. ⁶  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.- Psalm 23:1-6 (ESV)
What a great reminder! God leads us to still waters, he restores our soul, he leads us down his path for our life, and when the time comes, he will walk and guide us through the valley of the shadow of death, so that we can dwell with him in his Kingdom forever!

However, the walk for us is not clear all the time. We trust God, we encourage each other, we read and obey God’s direction in the Bible, and then we walk by faith through life. After Paul talked about our bodies being “tents” and the Kingdom our destination, he goes on to say that right now we must walk by faith in God, because we don’t see clearly all that God has in store for us:

⁶  So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, ⁷  for we walk by faith, not by sight. ⁸  Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.2 Corinthians 5:6-8 (ESV)

My friends, I ask that you walk with us on our walk home to Jesus, as you pray with us and encourage us. We are so grateful that you  have done that in amazing ways over these last 18 months, and it has gotten us to this point, and we know with your support and Jesus’ guidance, we will get home just fine.

Truth is, none of really know when our walk will end and we finally get home.  Each of us walks one day at a time, by faith.

But the good news of the gospel is that when we finally get home, we will no longer walk by faith, because then we will see God clearly and finally understand his goodness and grace and his plan for our life. Then, we will walk by sight!

Please pray for CJ and me, as well as yourself, that our walk will be filled with God’s peace and joy, and that God will lead us home gently and holding our hand all the way!

Walk together, and walk with God!

Last month I did an update asking for prayers on CJ’s condition in which I said she was feeling weak, not eating well, and we were concerned that she may not improve. In response to that, one of our dear friends who has fought cancer twice herself responded that they are always praying, and asked me “Are we still praying for victory?” That question convicted me a little and made me think. Having been a pastor for 40+ years and seen countless faithful friends struggle and pray for their loved one to recover from cancer or some other deadly situation, I realize that most of the time God does not “miraculously” heal loved ones the way we might hope for. And I know that when even dear Christian friends hear that the cancer is advancing and that we are now on hospice, our “default” prayers tend to turn to asking God to be gentle as the person is dying and that the end will be peaceful and not be painful. Trust me, if CJ or anybody gets to the final stages of life, I would cherish that prayer and pray for that myself! BUT, at this point, we are not there! CJ is feeling better and stronger this last week or two, and has been going out to shop with me often, and has been planting flowers around the house all week. As a matter of fact, she went to Meijers by herself this morning because she is tired of shopping with me and my penchant to hurry her along and not allow her to shop “her way”! I’m sure some of you   women can identify with that!

Anyway, are we still praying for victory? ABSOLUTELY! And for Christians who know their Bible, victory has two levels of meaning for us.

1) As we put our faith and hope in Jesus, we ALREADY have victory over sin and death! Yes, we will ALL die physically, even if God heals us for a season. But because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, he promises that our soul, the real you and me that lives in our body now, will live with him forever, if we put our trust in Him! Jesus says in John 14:19 “Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you will also live”.  This is Jesus’ unfailing guarantee to all who trust their lives to him. So, we ALREADY have victory in Jesus over death! Mature Christian believers realize that our future life in God’s Kingdom will be amazingly, unbelievably better than anything we can imagine here, so that takes the “sting” out of death for us. We have already won that battle through Jesus, as Paul says so beautifully in Romans 8:
¹⁵  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷  Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. ¹⁸  I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  ²⁸  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.³¹  What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all–how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  ³⁵  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  ³⁷  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2) BUT, beyond the eternal victory over death we already have, sometimes Jesus intervenes in the natural order of the world and “supernaturally” changes things to draw attention to him and his glory! In these “victories over the natural effect of sin in our lives”, these are always about God and his love, power, and Kingdom, not about us!

So, getting back to CJ for a moment, I ask you to also pray for God’s victory over the evil of cancer in her body! When CJ began this difficult journey about 14 months ago, God led her to II Chronicles 20:15, which says ‘This is what the Lord says to you: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, BUT GOD’S!”

– Notice, this battle belongs to God, not us. I can’t tell you how many times we have wanted to take control of this battle and tell God “please do this and have these results!” And when it doesn’t go our way and the results are not good, it’s easy to question God and want to take matters into our own hands! We don’t dictate to God what he will do. That’s a hard lesson to learn, especially when you have no control over things and feel helpless. But I also know that whatever God’s plan for this battle is, it will be perfect from his perspective!

– Notice also, God says for us not to be afraid or discouraged in the process of the battle! Sometimes that’s really tough when the news is bad, but God has slowly strengthened our faith in this area through these 14 months. My favorite “go to” verse now has become Isaiah 41:10- “So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!”

So, dear friends, are we still praying for victory? You better believe it!! Not only our guaranteed eternal victory over death, but victory now, over this evil of cancer in CJ’s body!

I know that’s a “big ask”, especially when scans don’t look good and your doctor says you now have “months, and not years, to live”. But for God, such healing is nothing at all for Him! God is not phased by that which brings fear to us; rather, he calls us to trust him in the storm and expect him to bring us through it for his glory!

SO, would you specifically pray with me for these requests:

– CJ has a CT scan tomorrow. Pray the results might be good and show a decrease in cancer growth. But if there is an increase, pray thankfully that God is still in charge and that is not his answer. Pray that through his divine touch and/or through the treatments she is taking, God will reduce the cancer, lead to healing, and use this journey to encourage others and point to his power and grace in our lives.

– Pray for us to remain strong and unafraid, even in the down times of the journey.

– Pray for all of us, CJ, me, and you as well, to trust God for the good plan that he already has for our lives, now and forever!

We have recently enjoyed and found encouragement from listening to messages from Dr. Tony Evans. What a great preacher! (You can get all his messages free on Youtube!) He recently did a message on the story from Mark 4 where Jesus calms the storm on the sea. Remember, Jesus & his followers took a boat to the other side of the lake. Halfway across the lake, a terrible storm arouse, so vicious that even these veteran fishermen are afraid for their lives. And Jesus, meanwhile, is taking a nap in the boat! Fearing for their lives, they wake Jesus up and cry out “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Jesus calms the waves and gently rebukes them saying, “Why are you still afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Dr. Evans pointed out that in these life-threatening storms of life, we are prone to cry out to God in desperation and fear. But then he reminds us that at the beginning of the story, Jesus ALREADY said “let us go over to the other side!” When God promises us something, he always delivers on his word! Even in the storm, Jesus expected them to trust him for the promise he had already given them!

 Pray with us, that in the midst of this continuing, sometimes fearful storm, that we will keep our eyes on Jesus, and not the waves. God has already won the victory for us over death, and has spoken amazing promises for our future! I believe that God has also won the victory over the cancer in CJ’s body, and I invite you to pray in faith along with me for that hope.

And may you also keep your eyes on Jesus, not on the waves that seem to be around you at the moment! In those times, please remember my favorite verse:

Isaiah 41:10- “So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!”

I have a plaque on the wall over my desk that says “Live by faith, not by sight”. (taken from 2 Corinthians 5:7) But, just how do we live by faith in these times of great uncertainty? The Coronavirus has pealed back the false layer of security that most of us live under. This leads many to fear, stress, panic, and very real worry about their own health and that of those they love. We also worry about lost jobs, food supplies, children at home, retirement accounts, and on and on… And what’s scary to most of us is the realization that we were never in control of our lives like we thought we were! James 4:13-15 bring us down to that reality:

¹³  Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— ¹⁴  yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. ¹⁵  Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” – James 4:13-15 (ESV)

Most of you know of CJ’s and my struggle with cancer this past year. It is a simple illustration of uncertainty that we all experience in life when the unexpected hits us right between the eyes. A little over a year ago, we got a totally unexpected call that CJ has stage 4 metastatic cancer. After 10 chemo treatments and a long surgery, we returned from Florida in February with the hope that it was mostly gone and could be controlled. We were again rattled to hear that it had returned, and is still growing, and if we can’t find something to stop it she may have months and not years to live. Wow, talk about bringing fear and uncertainty back into your life! So, we continue to pray and seek God’s word to us. The REALITY of the situation with cancer, and with the Coronavirus, is that we just DON’T KNOW! I don’t know if God will give CJ years to live or just months, and I have no control over that. None of us can see the virus, we don’t know if we have it or will get it, or whether we will live or die if we do contact it. We’re all in the same boat; some will live in panic and fear, many will blame others, and the wise ones will turn to faith!

SO, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FACE UNCERTAINTY IN ALL OF LIFE WITHOUT GIVING IN TO FEAR, PANIC, AND DESPAIR?

 I have a few  thoughts that I would like to share with you that have been playing in my mind for this past year:

1) We ALL try to live by faith, even if you don’t consider yourself a Christian or even “religious”!

The biblical definition of faith is:  Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)  Faith begins with the understanding that we just don’t know, and can’t see everything in life (and can’t control it), but we can reasonably believe in a more hopeful future because of evidence and what we have experienced in life so far!

Take the coronavirus: we can all be afraid, even terrified, because we can’t see the virus, but know it can possibly kill us. But, by “faith”, we can all see a very likely brighter future. Our faith can be in doctors and researchers who studied similar viruses for years. Their mitigation strategy has been quite effective.  Even their worst projections indicate that less than 1% of our total population will die of this. And, we can have very reasonable hope that they will come up with effective treatments very soon and probably have an effective vaccine in a year or less. So, even though we don’t “know” for sure, a reasonable faith can give us hope and take away our fear and despair!

In the same way, we Christians put our faith in God, whom we believe is much more reliable than any doctor or politician or pundit! Why?… because we know that millions of people have experienced God’s presence and intervention in their lives for 1,000’s of years, often in supernatural ways. More importantly, the cornerstone of our faith is the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, which we celebrated just over a week ago. Although we can’t “prove” that Jesus was resurrected, the forensic evidence is overwhelming for not only the possibility, but the probability, of his resurrection! Over 500 real people saw him resurrected. Don’t we wish there were cell phones back then and somebody took a “selfie” with Jesus after his resurrection? So our faith is far from “wishful thinking” or a “fairy tale”, it is based on the testimony of real people who suffered and gave their lives based on what they saw and believed. We can also trust the Bible as God’s word to us, revealing his desire to help us and redeem us from our sin. I love the Bible primarily because there are no “super-heroes” in it, other than God! The most faithful and famous in the Bible are fallible, sinful human beings who failed often and came to realize that they ultimately had no real control over their lives, and humbly cried out to God to save them. And he did, time and time again! So today, as we find ourselves feeling out of control, uncertain, and fearful, we can trust, or have faith, in God and his amazing promises, leading us to “be sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”!

2) As humans, God calls us to trust and respect our leaders and experts, even though they all have limited knowledge and understanding. But beyond that, God invites us to trust him, because he alone is God and knows the future and has power over everything!

As humans, we face a unique dilemma: we were the only aspect of creation made in the image of God! That means that we, above every creature, have unique intellectual, emotional, and moral qualities that are amazing. But because we all now have a sinful nature, those qualities are messed up and out of touch with God’s will. So even the best of our leaders, doctors, and experts in any field are limited in what they can see, know, and understand.

So, let’s give each other a break! I’ve been in leadership all my life, and I know most leadership decisions are a lot more complex and less “black and white” than others realize. It’s easy to armchair quarterback and blame others from the sidelines. Maybe one leader or doctor may do better than another. But all of us are biased, limited in knowledge, and will never make the perfect decisions every time. And, as wonderful and heroic as our medical people are in this present crisis, no doctor or researcher has the ability to ultimately “save your life”. They may help your body to survive a few more years, but they are just delaying the inevitable: we are all going to die physically, and no human can stop that.

All of this division, hatred, violence, vile name calling, blame, fear, mistrust, confusion, and despair we see today is NOT from God! We were originally created to live with God, on the earth, and to love Him and each other. That means God intended us to respect, love, trust, build each other up, and bring out the best in each other. But sin has screwed us up so badly that now we settle for just eating each other alive.

That’s why our faith needs to rest in God and not each other!

God is God, and we are not, and that’s the best news we can hear today! God lives beyond our limit of time: he see the past, present, and future, and he is ultimately in complete control of it all. The Coronavirus is no surprise to him, it is merely a blip on his view of eternity. It doesn’t change his plan at all, and is causes him no worry! Even though this is a byproduct of evil, God will use it for good and offer us hope to get through it.

Jesus said, ^“ The thief  ((Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it in abundance.” – John 10:10 (NIV)  Because we live under the cloud of sin and Satan’s influence, we allow him to lead us down the path of destruction of our souls, our lives, and our world. But Jesus came to reverse that path of evil, and restore us to what we were originally created to be! He wants us to have new life, the Kingdom life, that will last forever!  So, by having faith in God and knowing he raised his son Jesus from death, we can now have hope and even peace as we face the worst that life throws at us!

3) So, how might Jesus be calling us to live today? For me at least, this last year has shown me the need to repent, be humble, and trust Jesus one day at a time!

Repent- I am reminded through this that I’m still a sinner and need to repent of my times of unbelief and lack of trust in God’s goodness and provision for my life. I also need to repent of my attitude and judgement toward others that I disagree with, and not get caught up in the game of blame and destructive words towards others.

Be humble- This last year has clearly shown me how little power and control I actually have over the events of my life, and has led me to humbly trust in God more than ever in my prayer and thought life. I gladly trust Jesus with CJ’s life, and my own, knowing that he is the only one who has the power to give us abundant life now and forever!

Live one day at a time- Many years ago Pastor Lloyd Ogilvie wrote that he learned to live in “day-tight compartments” during a very difficult year in his life. Even though the circumstances were difficult, he found that living only one day at a time, looking for God’s goodness and presence that day, made the year much more rewarding and enjoyable. In reflection, all of us only have today! We have no promise of tomorrow, and we can’t change the past, so excessive worry or regret can just paralyze us and steal the joy God has for today. Jesus said as much:

Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)
²⁵  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ²⁸  “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

As we live together in this rare time of fear and uncertainty for so many, let us remember to :

– put our ultimate trust (faith) in God

– pray for all those on the “front lines” of service and risk

– pray for all those suffering from sickness and their families, that they will experience God’s comfort and hope in the midst of suffering

– pray that our attitudes towards others will be the same as that of Jesus

– thank God for each day and enjoy his goodness today, focusing on God and resting in his power and promise for a new life forever in his presence!

So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  – Isaiah 41:10

As most of you know, CJ recently had a devastating diagnosis from our doctor. After a wonderful month in Florida, walking the beach and enjoying time with many friends, we returned with the hope that her cancer was under control and we would see a better year in 2020. Her CT scan showed otherwise, and the cancer has returned and is progressing to new areas. Our doctor looked for an hour or more for other possible known treatments, but came up with nothing that promised to stop the cancer. CJ has an extremely rare cancer and her bio-markers are different than other, more common strains. So, her diagnosis was that CJ has 6 months to a year of life expectancy. We came home in shock and many days of tears, but we have resolved to put our trust wholly in God at this point. We are certainly not naïve, and know that when the doctor gives you a diagnosis such as this, in most cases they tend to be correct.

But in spite of the doctor’s diagnosis, we know that God is sovereign over this world and us! He created the world and humanity for good, and he originally designed our bodies to live forever and he would dwell with us in the Garden of Eden. (see Genesis 1 &2) But because of sin (Genesis 3), we were separated from God and we will all suffer physical death. One of CJ’s comforting thoughts through this whole process is that God knows the number of our days, and he knew that before her cancer and that timeline will not change in spite of the cancer! (Psalm 139:16) We know from our experience and that of countless others that God’s plan is always good for us, even if it doesn’t seem that way at this moment. SO, we choose to trust God’s plan for CJs life, and mine as well. It appears the medical options are drying up, but God is not limited to that. So we put ourselves wholly in the hands of God. And where else would we want to be? What could be better than being in God’s loving care and plan?

Knowing that God’s plan is ultimately good, we want you to pray with us that we will discern just how that plan works out.

It may be that the doctor’s diagnosis fits with God’s plan, but it may not! CJ has joked that she wants to go home to Jesus in his timing, but she sure doesn’t want to show up too early! So I ask you pray with us on several fronts:

1) Pray for God to heal CJ!

Now as I ask this, please remember that God heals in many ways…

– He heals through medical breakthroughs.

 Our doctors have been wonderful this past year, and we believe God has used them to bring us to this point. We are continuing to check into things like clinical trials and alternative approaches, and its’ still possible God will open up another avenue here. Anything is possible with God. But right now, it looks like this door is closing up.

– He heals miraculously through his own healing touch!

Let me be clear: we choose this way, if it’s in God’s plan! We know for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God can heal miraculously. We have seen it, and heard stories all our life of this happening.  I recently studied Mark chapter 5 with my men’s study, which has 3 healings of Jesus. I noticed 3 aspects of Jesus’ healings. The first example was of Jesus healing a man possessed by demons, so many they were called Legion. I believe all sickness is evil, in that God’s original plan for us was to never be sick. Cancer, especially, is evil and insidious as it eats away at healthy cells. Pray for Jesus to cast out these evil cancer cells from her body, just as he did those demons. The 2^nd healing was of a woman with years of bleeding that made her an outcast from society. She reached out to touch his robe in a crowd, and was healed because of her act of faith. Pray that CJ and I (and you also) will reach out daily in faith for Jesus to touch CJ in the same way. The 3^rd example in Mark was the healing of Jarius’ young daughter. Even though his daughter died before they got there, Jesus told him “Don’t be afraid. Just believe”. Then he brought her back to life! Pray that CJ and I will daily not be afraid and anxious, but will “just believe” that God has this under control.

Now, I understand praying for miraculous healing is a big stretch for most of us! I am guilty of knowing God can do it, but often thinking that God probably won’t do it in most cases. Truth is, God usually doesn’t heal miraculously in most cases. But when he does, he always does it for HIS glory and purpose, not just for us. Every time Jesus healed, it was to point to his power and his plan for future redemption from sin and the ultimate restoration of our world and us in his future Kingdom. He always has compassion on us, but his ultimate desire is for us to trust him for the future life that will be so much better than we can ever imagine now.

– God heals through death.

 This is God’s ultimate healing for those who trust in him. All of our bodies will die physically, but for those who trust our lives to Jesus, we know that we will never die! Our souls will be with God, and we are promised new resurrection bodies that will never get sick or die. And we look forward to an amazing life in a new heaven and earth where we will be fully human, living free from the effects of sin, and God will dwell with us. So, as much as we love this life and world, we know that this new life will be much better and beyond our imaginations!

2)  Pray for wisdom to discern God’s plan for healing!

Yes, God WILL heal CJ, but it will be according to his plan. He may choose to heal her through a physical touch, and she will live for a season longer to share the glory of God’s power. In my bias as her husband who wants her around for many more years, this is obviously my prayer! I pray visualizing her sharing the wonderful story of God’s healing in many groups of people, offering them hope and encouragement in their struggles and suffering as well. We would love nothing better than to bring God glory by such a testimony. But God may choose to heal her through death, and we know as believers that this new life with God will be totally amazing. As Jonathan Evans said in a eulogy at his mother’s funeral recently (Google it), God’s answer to our prayer is Yes! Yes, she will be healed, or, yes, she will be healed. Yes, she will live, or, yes, she will live. Yes, she will be with her family, or, yes, she will be with her family!

So pray with us for God to heal CJ according to his plan, because we know that he knows what is best for her. But pray with confidence! James, the brother of Jesus, reminds us of this in James 1:5-8:
⁵  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸  he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

3) Pray for our sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren.

Our family knows the reality of the situation and we have had some good talks already. But please pray that no matter how God decides to work this out, they will actually draw closer to God and feel the peace and assurance that he has already given to us. And pray especially for our 9 grandchildren, that whatever happens, they will see in us and their own parents the courage, strength, and peace that only God can give us as we go through a trial like this. It amazes me that the more you realize all you have left to trust in is God, the more you feel his presence and get the impression that he’s telling you “It’s going to be OK. I’ve got this, and I will take care of you”. Scripture has been vital to us this past year, and one of our favorites has been Isaiah 41:10: So dear not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.

4) Pray that CJ and I will remain strong in our faith and at peace with God, and that God will use this whole experience to encourage others in their walk of faith and draw closer to Jesus!

In no way are we strong and courageous on our own! There are still many moments of fear, anxiety, and doubt. But Jesus carries us in our weaknesses, and gives us new strength and hope daily.

So, our dear friends, we need you to pray with us more than ever! We have been overwhelmed by the powerful prayer support you have given us in this past year, and we can’t begin to thank you enough!

Pray for God’s plan to be done….

Pray for God’s healing for CJ…

Pray for our family and for us to be strong and grow in faith…

And pray for God to work through this and bring good from it, advancing his Kingdom and drawing more people into it because of this experience.

At some point in the future, when all us who trust in Jesus are basking in the beauty and power of God himself in his Kingdom, we will look back at these days and perhaps finally understand why God did what he did in these trials in our lives. And all of this will seem as an insignificant speck in our past history.

And we will know that God loves us more than we ever imagined, and that everything is fine and good, just as God intended it to be!

Trust God and let him have your life, surrendering to his plan for you, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus be with you all!