“My wife has advanced cancer”… something I never thought I would write, nor something I ever thought we would have to face together. But nobody else sees such things coming either, do they? So Claudia (CJ to many) and I will face this crisis with faith in God, just as we have everything else in our life! As many of you know, I have been “blogging” for about 6 years now, so I will use this platform to share our faith journey through cancer with others. I do this not because it’s “all about us”, but because writing my thoughts will help us work this out, and I pray it may help some others who are going through the various struggles that we all face in this life. And, whatever the final result, we pray that God will be glorified in this journey, and that we will walk through it as faithful followers of Jesus!
OUR REACTON: Like everyone else, our first reaction was shock, fear, much sobbing and tears, numbness, and just trying to get a grip on our life that was suddenly turned upside down! To be clear, yes, I’m a retired pastor, and CJ is a wonderful, faithful person who loves to lead worship and praise God all her life, but we are just like everyone else and get no “special favors” because of that. Christians will face all the heartaches and struggle in life, just like everyone else. As a husband and man, my first desire is to “fix this” and make it alright, but I am struck by the realization that I am helpless to do anything to stop this cancer! But as most believers understand, God has us “right where he wants us”, needing to be entirely dependent on Him for our hope and future. Another thought I expressed as a husband was “I wish I had this cancer and not you!” Truthfully, I would rather deal with the pain and treatments myself, than see my wife go through it! But I can’t!… BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, JESUS HAS ALREADY DONE THAT FOR US! This week we again celebrate the excruciating death and resurrection of Jesus! Part of the amazing “good news” of the gospel is that Jesus took the punishment and pain for all our sins and sicknesses upon himself on that cross, and in the resurrection defeated death itself for us. In I Peter 2:24 it says “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness.” And in Matthew 8:17, it says “This was to fulfill what was written through the prophet Isaiah: ‘He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases’ “.
OUR FIRST ACTIONS: After the initial shock had worn off, CJ turned to scripture to hear what God was going to say to us. She has been reading through the Old Testament and came to II Chronicles 20:15, which says “This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s!” I encourage you to read all of chapter 20, but to summarize, King Jehoshaphat of Judah faced 3 invading armies, and knew he was powerless to win the battle! In verse 12, he says “O God, will you not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon YOU!” After God told him that the battle was not his to fight, he still instructed Jehoshaphat to prepare for battle. Interestingly, leading the soldiers was a choir of singers who were praising God and singing “Praise the Lord, for his mercy endures forever”. As they approached the battle, God caused confusion in the enemy armies and they ended up completely destroying each other, as the army of Judah just watched!
We are using this verse and story as our faith focus in this battle against cancer! We see the “vast army” as the many tumors diagnosed in the 1st CT scan. We know that we are powerless to destroy them ourselves, but we believe God has ultimate power and will fight this battle for us. Now, that doesn’t mean we just sit back and do nothing!
ANTICIPATING THE AWESOMENESS OF GOD!
The army of Judah witnessed the awesome power of God to save them and fight for them. When we feel helpless and hopeless, God is still God, the all-powerful creator of the universe who cares deeply about each of us! But just as God gave King Jehoshaphat specific instructions, he does for us as well. In my John Maxwell Leadership version of the Bible, John outlines the major steps King Jehoshaphat took in the story that apply to us today as well:
1) They fought their fear. (vs.2,3) They didn’t let fear paralyze them, but stayed calm enough to think. Please pray for peace and wisdom for us as well!
2) They sought the Lord!(vs.3,6-13) The King prayed to seek wisdom & perspective from God. Pray for us to be patient and seek that as well!
3) He brought the synergy. (vs.3,4) He gathered the people and informed them. We are blessed with social media connections, and God has connected us with well over 100, perhaps 200, people praying for us and encouraging us with cards, emails, texts, etc.
4) He caught the vision (vs.14-17) He listened to the voice of God until he knew what to do. Help us listen to God’s voice, because his plans are much greater than ours!
5) He bought God’s idea (vs.18, 19) He bowed his head and took the steps forward that God gave him. Pray for us to humble ourselves and honor God in this.
6) He taught the plan (vs.20-23) He gave his key players instructions on what to do. Pray that God will direct our doctors, the chemo treatments, CJ and I as we take each step, and all of you as our team of “prayer warriors” to focus faithfully on God’s plan for us, so that he will be glorified!
7) He got the victory (vs.24,25) He trusted and obeyed, and God won the battle. As Christians, we know Jesus has already won the battle when we put our trust in Him! Whatever the ultimate outcome of this battle with cancer, we who trust in Jesus know that we will live forever with Him in his coming Kingdom, and will someday have new bodies that will never get disease or die!
Now, having said all that noble stuff, I’m still a weak person like many of you, and I’m selfishly praying as a simple child of God for my Heavenly Father (Abba, or “daddy” as Jesus said) to heal my wife and let me share many more years with her as we enjoy our family, friends, this beautiful world He created, and most of all be able to share the message of Jesus’ coming Kingdom with all we can! No matter how this ultimately ends, I believe with all my heart that God is good, all the time; that nothing can separate us from the love of God; and that ultimately, as we trust fully in Jesus, everything thing is going to be just fine and our eternal future is assured!
My next blog in a week or so (hopefully) will be on faith and healing. We will focus on Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Thanks for your continued prayers and support! God bless each of you!