A couple of days ago I was wrapping gifts for the grandkids (something CJ always did, so fortunately they are kids and not too concerned with how pretty the wrapping job is!) I took a break and sat down at her study desk upstairs. I glanced through a women’s Bible study she had been working on up until the last 2-3 weeks of her life, when her confusion got worse due to liver failure, and she was no longer able to do anything with her hands or a clear mind. Out of the book fell 2 cards marked “My Prayer Strategy”. The last prayer she ever wrote was one was for her kids & grandkids, which I will share with them privately. The other card said this: “Oh Lord, as I exit your Earthly Domain, I will not forget the discipline of a thankful heart. It is the first step to TRUE worship: “Enter His gates with a thankful heart and enter His courts with Praise!” Help me, Lord, as I walk through this pathway of worship, to understand the procedure of coming into your presence.”

Now, please don’t misunderstand what she was praying for! She was NOT seeking some mystical path to get into Heaven. CJ knew, as any Christian should, that the ONLY path to Heaven is through Jesus, by believing he is the Son of God, that he died and rose again, and that as we trust Him with our lives he will save us from sin and resurrect us from death to a new and amazing life with him forever. And that’s where she is now, because she believed that! 

Anybody who knew CJ well knew that intimate worship was central to whom she was, and what made her the person she grew to become. She learned that worship is about God, not us; and once we rightly understand that God is God and we are not, then we can recognize there is a biblical path to enter into God’s presence correctly.  Why is it so important to get into the presence of God? Because that is what we are missing in this sinful, dark, and broken world! We were created to live WITH GOD is this world, but sin separates us from Him. CJ understood that the closer we get to God and experience His presence in our daily lives, the more peace and true fulfillment we will experience. And NOW, free from the curse of sin and her decaying, cancer-riddled body, she is experiencing true peace, joy, and just plain fun with Jesus himself!

 For all of us still here, there is unanimous consent that 2020 was a horrible year! Whether you lost a loved one as I did, or had other losses and trials in your life, we all seem to focus on COVID as the prime evil of 2020. And it was a horrible virus, killing many and causing massive destruction not only physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and materially as well. And with the vaccines coming out, we all have great hope. But as Christians we should understand, even though 2021 will hopefully be better than 2020, we still live in a world under the power of evil and sin, and that will not change until Jesus returns to destroy Satan and evil and restore the world to what it was meant to be! As awful as COVID is, thankfully less than 1% of the world will actually die from it. On the other hand, we are all under the curse of sin, and 100% of us will die of that!

Paul says in Romans 8:18-21:
¹⁸  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope ²¹  that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

Pastor Timothy Keller, in his book “Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering”, reminds us that this present world is broken and is NOT the world we desire deep in our hearts! He says “Human beings were not created to experience death, pain, grief, disappointment, ruptured relationships, disease, and natural disasters. The world we were made to live in was not supposed to be like that! A frustrated world is a broken world, in which things do not function as they should, and that is why there is evil and suffering.”

Christians who understand the story of God’s plan in the Bible know two main truths:

1) This present world is a hot mess, under the power of sin, and no human solution or government is going to change that. And even though we love much of life here and find joy and fulfillment at times, we all know something isn’t right, something is missing!

2) God offers us a new future, a new hope, when Jesus returns, destroys evil, and re-creates a new heaven and earth the way it was originally meant to be. In this new world, there will be no more sin, and we will again dwell WITH GOD all the time, every day!

OK, I think we can all agree, whether you’re a Christian or not, that this present world is messed up and you would like to live in a better world! Let me suggest three areas to focus on as you enter into 2021. This doesn’t guarantee you won’t struggle, suffer, or even die in 2021. But it will help you see God’s bigger picture, recognize that He is with you and will strengthen you no matter what you face, and realize that no matter what happens, there is a great new world coming for believers in Jesus, and nothing can take that away from us!

1) Ask God to help you see your life through His eyes, every day of the year!

 In Ephesians 1:17-18 (ESV), Paul offers a beautiful prayer for all of us, saying…
¹⁷  that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, ¹⁸  having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,

– “having the eyes of your heart enlightened” means that God would focus your desires of heart and mind on what he has for you, which is far better than what you may think you want or need! Ask God to help you see your life and others the way Jesus sees them, and you will see hope and good even in the worst circumstances of life. CJ and I experienced this mindset time and time again in her 18 month battle with cancer, and it made life much more bearable.

2) Seek and look for God’s presence in your life every moment of every day!

Even though sin separates us from God, he promised us that when we trust in Jesus with our life, his Holy Spirit will come and dwell within us! Whatever you are doing each day, consciously ask God to help you and guide you and strengthen you. One of the names of the Holy Spirit is the Comforter, and his presence has greatly brought comfort to me in these past months, even though it’s still difficult.

3) Live each day with a Kingdom attitude of joy and thankfulness!

Going back to CJ’s last written prayer for herself, I’m amazed and so proud of her that her goal was to have the proper attitude as she knew she was leaving this world and going home to her Father’s presence! I remember that last 2 weeks watching her sit quietly on the sofa, her hands folded in prayer, quietly asking God to take her home. She had learned through practice to approach God with thankfulness for all that God had done and promised to do for us in the future, which naturally leads to praising him for his power to help us overcome even death itself!  

It’s easy and natural to succumb to having a “pity party” for yourself when circumstances are difficult. CJ and I both had our share of them, and I still do from time to time. But the Bible teaches us to keep our hearts and minds focused on Jesus and what he has done for us, and that moves us away from pity to thankfulness and even rejoicing, because we know God is always with us! Paul exhorts us in Philippians 4: 4-7,
⁴  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This afternoon, a friend sent me and others a wonderful quote by Christian author and theologian Henri Nouwen called “JOY” :

Joy does not come from positive predictions about the state of the world.

It does not depend on the ups and downs of the circumstances of our lives.

Joy is based on the spiritual knowledge that,

while the world in which we live is shrouded in darkness,

God has overcome the world.

Jesus says it loudly and clearly:  ‘In the world you will have troubles,

but rejoice, I have overcome the world.’

The surprise is not that, unexpectedly, things turn out better than expected.

No, the real surprise is that God’s light is more real than all the darkness,

that God’s truth is more powerful than all  human lies,

that God’s love is stronger than death.

I pray for all of us that 2021 will be a wonderful year in many ways! But most of all, I pray you will seek God’s intimate, daily presence, and that His presence will bring you unspeakable joy, even in the midst of trials and difficulties. And may that joy lead you to an attitude of humility, thankfulness, and unending praise for God and his great love for you.

God bless you all! Have a wonderful Christmas, blessed New Year, and never forget that God loves you more than will ever know!

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  – “Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Even before my wife Claudia died on October 22, I had been thinking daily about what my future might look like after she died. After we got her “death sentence” from our doctor in February, we both discussed continually what her last months would look like if God chose not to heal her physically, and what my life might be like following that. These are not conversations you ever think you will have with your spouse, but most of us go through something like this at some point in time. I thought of such things as “Will I keep our home or sell it? Will I move to another area or state, or maybe go to Florida for 6 months a year like many? Will I stay close to be able to see all our kids & grandkids? And, will I consider getting remarried?” (Talk about a weird conversation to have with your wife!)

Well, this next year will determine the answer to many of those questions! What brings me hope and peace about the future is, in spite of several unknowns, I know that I belong to God and nothing will change that relationship. That means I know who I am, I will not change how I look at life, and my purpose for the future will not change at all! This might be described as a “Kingdom mentality”, an understanding for Christians that we are already partially in God’s Kingdom now, and will fully enter into the Kingdom in the next phase of life. Now, I know many non-believers hear talk like this and think “That sounds like all he is going to do is go to church and do Bible studies and have a pretty boring life!” While those are both part of “Kingdom life” (and are NOT boring), that is not even close to what life in God’s Kingdom is like!

Dr.  Tony Evans has done a lot of great research and teaching on God’s Kingdom. He defines God’s Kingdom agenda as “the visible manifestation of the comprehensive rule of God over every area of life”. And he defines a Kingdom man or woman as “someone who is consistently living under the rule of God and the Lordship of Jesus Christ over every area of their life.” This means we see all of life from God’s perspective as Kingdom people. God created this world and everything in it, and he created us in his image to enjoy the world and rule over it. And he wants us to have an intimate, loving relationship with him and each other. In what we call the “Lord’s Prayer”, Jesus has us pray to the Father, “Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”… and, “Yours is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory forever.” When we consciously live under God’s rule in our lives, it brings us his power to live abundantly, and it brings glory to him.

For me, that means that all the enjoyable things I do in life are part of God’s plan for me, as long as I do them under his direction and see them from his perspective. So I plan to play a lot more golf this year, which also allows me to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation and develop new relationships with friends that may lead to eternal friendship in the Kingdom. I will go boating in my pontoon, fishing, and pulling the grandkids on the tube. This will help them learn the value God has given us for strong and healthy family ties. I will enjoy healthy dining in some of the great Michigan restaurants (an important retiree pastime!). I will enjoy the beauty of God’s creation in Michigan as I walk the magnificent beaches, dunes, and trails, and kayak on the rivers. I will enjoy the coastal towns and marinas, and shopping in the specialty shops. (Nah, not really! CJ loved the shopping, but I just loved being with her and walking around while she shopped!) And I will certainly enjoy blogging, and teaching small groups and men’s book and Bible studies. These groups have brought both CJ and I our closest and most supportive friends throughout our life, and have been the Christian brothers and sisters that we have lived everyday life with. The greatest thing about Kingdom life is that we have a Christian family of friends that will last for eternity!

As much as many aspects of my life will remain the same, it will of course be drastically different without CJ!  43 years of sharing life with someone as wonderful as CJ now leaves a large chasm in my heart that will only be bridged and healed by God’s touch and grace, in His timing. While I grieve her loss daily and wish she were back with me, I know she is amazingly happy in the presence of God now, and so I would never want her to leave the glory and beauty of God’s presence to be back here in this broken, sin-stained world, even though it would selfishly make me delighted.  Phil Paonessa, a good friend who lead music with CJ in our Clawson experience, told me of a song he had written for another friend years ago that had lost a son. The gist of the song was that our loved ones in Heaven are in a greater reality than we are, face to face with God. We live here by faith, trusting in God who we cannot yet see. But if I imagine Jesus holding CJ’s hand in Heaven right now, I can also reach out in faith and hold his hand from this side. Thus, the closer I am to Jesus, the closer I am also to CJ. And with Jesus holding our hands, we will see each other again in the future, and everything is going to be fine. That image brings me great comfort and hope!

CJ and I talked several times about the possibility of me getting remarried. (Weird, I know!) The thought of “dating” scares me to no end. I mentioned to CJ that I wasn’t that great at dating 43 years ago, and I’m probably not any better now! She graciously didn’t say anything, but I’m sure she was thinking “You’ve got that right, buddy!” After several talks, I decided that I have so enjoyed sharing every aspect of life with CJ for 43 years that I really can’t see myself staying alone for the (hopefully) 20 or so years I may have left. CJ said that would be ok, as long as the grandkids didn’t like the new person better than her! I assured her that as amazing as she was as Grandma, that would not be possible.

So, if there ends up being a woman in my future who is willing (and maybe foolish?) enough to date and possibly even marry me, there is one primary factor I will look for the most. And that is that she be a “Kingdom woman”, a Christian who looks to God to guide in all aspects of her life, and in the future to direct us in our marriage as well. CJ was such a woman for all the time I knew her, and her love and trust in God helped me become the kingdom man I am today. How could I possibly go backward? To marry someone who didn’t attempt see life from God’s perspective would weaken my relationship with God and that would in turn be unfair to her as well. And how sad would it be to marry someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus and know that after death you may never see them again for eternity? Anyway, these are some of the strange thoughts I wrestle with that I never thought I would have to. Like most men, I thought I would die first and CJ would have to deal with this stuff. I certainly wish it would have been me and not her, but it wasn’t, so my life will go forward with God’s help!

I close with a thought from Paul in Philippians:

¹³  Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵  Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.  – Philippians 3:13-15 (ESV)

Of course, I will NEVER forget my wonderful 43 years of life with CJ! She was the love of my life, and always will be. But I do know that God is always calling us to move forward, pressing on toward the goal of eventually being fully with God in Heaven, and then returning to live with him in the future on the New Earth and Heaven forever. What a day that will be!

Please pray that God will give me his wisdom, peace, and patience as I move forward into the new aspects of life that he has for me. I know they will be good, because God is good!

And I will pray for God’s hand to guide you all as well, as you seek to live as Kingdom men and women of God.